Identifying with Joseph

Joseph in his "coat of many colors." Check out other Lego images from his story @ www.thebricktestament.com.

Do you remember Joseph from the Old Testament? He's the one we learned about in Sunday School when we were little...we wore crayons down recreating his coat of many colors. That Joseph. The account we have of his life describes how he was his father's favorite son and how this caused reasonable jealousy among his brothers. Those brothers' jealousy turned to anger, and they plotted evil against Joseph. Eventually, they took their younger brother into the wilderness to kill him, but decided to sell him into slavery instead. Through a strange turn of events (also known as God's will), Joseph came into great fortune in Egypt in spite of his low status. Through an even stranger series of events, Joseph was given the opportunity to save the lives of the very brothers of his who had, all those years before, planned his murder. That's the story in a nutshell...here's how it relates to me. I yearn to redeem the hurts of my siblings' hearts. This is not to say I identify with being the favorite child, or being hated by my siblings, or that I was ever sold into slavery in some desert place! That ain't my story! I identify with being broken by my father's mistakes...and bearing the heavy burden of my siblings' brokenness. I want us all healed...redeemed...and I am looking to Joseph's amazing story for hope that one day we all will be.

Anthony Bourdain

Anthony Bourdain at Machu Picchu in Peru.

Last night I watched two episodes of one of the best distractions American television has to offer: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. It comes on the Travel Channel @ 9 central on Monday nights. You should tune in. Anyway, Bourdain is other-worldly. He's like Marlon Brando meets Jimmy Buffett. (Marlon Brando when he was hot and bad-ass). So, last night, Bourdain was headed down some Malaysian river in a john-boat and he says, "It's thrilling not knowing where you're going." I scrambled in my nightstand drawer for a pen and paper. As I recorded it I mused about the truth, simplicity and vastness of the statement. It IS thrilling not knowing where you're going...whether it's a matter of where you'll actually be when you reach the end of this road or where you'll metaphorically be. His comment brought memories of adventures flooding into my mind...crashing into my mind...Times Square at sundown...English moors through a rail-car window...the shoulder of the road in Russell, Kansas...the Indian market in downtown Quito...

There were other images that lept to mind. Images of where the metaphorical road leads...where it's leading me. Thrilling not knowing, isn't it? He made me think: how boring it would be to know where one is going. What if I had made up my mind as a little girl to be a doctor? And my whole life since then had revolved around that plan? What if there were obstacles and twists along the road? How devestating! But twists and turns on this road (the one I am on now) just add to the journey.

Toward the end of the episode, Bourdain compared himself to one of the Iban tribesmen with whom he was visiting. The Iban men have a tradition called the berjalai. It is a journey a young Iban man must take as a rite of passage into adulthood. The man must leave his village and go some distance away, live there for a while and make enough money to bring something valuable back home to his people. He learns about the world and grows in maturity and wisdom during the journey. Bourdain said his trip to Malaysia was a sort of berjalai. Made me think about my life so far...I've been on several of these journeys of discovery. When will I return home/ I don't know. I hope no time soon.

Into the Psalms

So, Cokesbury is in the midst of a read-through-the-Bible program, and it has been so meaningful to me! I have especially enjoyed the Psalms, and found new application for my life in almost every one of them. I pour over them every morning as I do my daily reading. I underline so much I am afraid the technique will lose its effectiveness...when every line is eventually underlined! I have written in margins things like "Wow!" and "Yes, Lord!" and "That is for me!" I look forward to giving this Bible to a child or grandchild someday and pondering what thoughts fill their minds as they read my ancient scribbles. The Word of God is living and active. Isn't it wonderful how different parts touch us at certain points in our lives?

I was impressed today as I read Psalm 31. The past five years of my life have been marred by occasional struggles with depression. As I write this, I am working my way through three separate books on the illness and trying desperately to find my way out. I was so blessed to read Psalm 31 and feel King David's sorrow as he wrote things I, too, could write today. Take verses 9 and 10 for instance: "Be merciful to me, o Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak." This is a man living almost three millennia ago describing the emotional and physical effects of clinical depression! And he was the man God described as being "after God's own heart." What strength and reassurance it gives me to know this greatest earthly king fought the same consuming and debilitating affliction as me! I am energized for another day of battle now...with the hope that God will use me and use my infirmity to bless and encourage other believers...both now and for millennia to come!